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November 2020: Silent prayers

from The sonic journals by White Noise from Electronic Toys

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I've been trying to speak with God lately, but without much success. I think I'm not ready yet, that's why.

God was closer when I was just a kid, maybe that was the same for you or maybe you think you don't believe in God and that's fine, 'cause right now it seems like I don't too.

You know, when we were kids the days were longer and the world bigger. Everything was a mystery and that is why I used to believe in God. That made me feel safe because, no matter what, he was looking out for me in the end.

Now I just don't know what to believe. I'm so hurt and angry that I always find an excuse not to search for him properly. I don't want to sit down and meditate because I don't have no time to do that, I got so many things to do and not so much time to do the things I really like.

But then if I stop for a moment I can feel myself praying silently behind all of it, I can feel the hope hidden behind all the rage and sorrow and grief, I can feel myself underneath my skin and that feeling maybe is just the red wine I'm sipping as I write this. I don't know, recently I heard someone say that you should do everything you do for God and I really liked that. I make music because I want people to like me, so I can feel proud of myself...yeah, then someone else said that in the end even Bach will be forgotten, so why am I doing all this? Is that only about my ego?

Maybe I'm praying while I make music, I like that, yeah, I like to think that this has a higher purpose and it's not just my selfish ego. I really like that, but I'm not so sure now, let's see where this is going, you never know.

God was closer when I was younger and I could really feel him.
Now I'm so hurt because I abandoned him, because I abandoned my true self.

November the 1st, 2020


THE TRACK OF THIS MONTH WAS CREATED FROM AN EVENING JAM ON MY IPAD, THE APPS I USED ARE XYNTHESIZR (FOR THE SEQUENCES), THEN SOME DRONING APP (I THINK THE APP IS CALLED DRONEO) WITH A BIT OF BITCRUSHING APPLIED TO IT, THEN I JUST DID SOME POSTPRODUCTION IN ABLETON LIVE 10 AND ADDED SOME MORE EFFECTS AND NOTES HERE AND THERE.

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from The sonic journals, released November 1, 2020

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White Noise from Electronic Toys image

White Noise from Electronic Toys Italy

Solo artist experimenting in the fields of Ambient and Techno music.

Check me out on youtube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UC27utlQKViYJOhdkHryg3xA?view_as=subscriber

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